The diabolical simplicity of happiness

The US Declaration of Independance promises to protect: “the pursuit of happiness”. And in practice this is  most often what happiness exists as – spontaneous random moments of bliss that can’t be relied upon, and that certainly we’re NOT ENTITLED TO, until we have “X” in our lives.

The story of the insight I’m presenting is one of sad unrequited love: I found myself having a mad crush on a particular young man. His name is Chris and he’s a latter day hippie who has a large musical talent that’s devoted primarily to recreating the work of the Grateful Dead. So basically he has a lot going against him for me, as I’m a latter day punker who pretty much loathes the Grateful Dead. And Chris is houseless unless he can find a free couch to crash on – travelling from town to town and living off of donations for his music, perhaps he falls in with Rainbow gatherings or something.

But talking to Chris, as our paths crossed as he was in Ithaca for a spell, even in his performances, he uniformly projects a happiness and playfulness. He explained his lifestyle as being a function of fully accepting and being comfortable with his laziness. But clearly he mastered  the following of his bliss, and he exudes happiness and playfulness as a function of surrendering every reason not to.

Chris is straight, and girls too, flirted with him. And it wasn’t that he is cute, it’s that he made himself cute. Anyone becomes as cute as they can be with a sincere grin. Chris is charismatic -it’s the way he earns tips playing music – by being appealing as a performer, by generating his own happiness he lifts the mood of people that listen to him or interact with him. His happiness isn’t forced, it may be about mischief or simply acting silly.

My personal example – feeling as if I’m entitled to a middle class lifestyle ’cause I have such great talent, intelligence and elite design skills – and therefore investing in anger and discontent until I have ‘an adequate’ material lifestyle once again. How much fun or effective is that really?

And this is not to say that I do not know better. Knowing something and putting that something in practice are not the same thing. I’ve known happiness is unrelated to circumstance for a while, happiness is a choice. Eyes wide open, I deny myself happiness until …I have a prosperous online business, I have a prosperous cartooning business, I have a prosperous t-shirt printing business, I have a loving boyfriend, I have many cool creative friends…etc.  I denied myself happiness because I felt it is required to be a carrot for whatever it is I’m committed to in life. I can’t allow myself to be happy now – I have no lover!

And if you look in your life, you may find the same thing. You are committed to more, so you are unwilling to allow yourself to be content with less.

But Chris showed me something important – a model of not allowing any reason to be good enough to hold off on not being happy right now. And in choosing to allow himself to be happy – he generates CHARISMA! People feel lighter and happier just by being around him.

And magically, what better position from which to not care – to be without lust for result – to wield the greatest possible magic with the most reliable results?

And in marketing – isn’t happy what people really want ?

There are law of attraction experts, Christians too – suggesting you need to think positive, and be thankful for what you do have. And they are not wrong. But really that’s not taking the problem on directly at all.  Smiling is. Simply smiling. And allowing your mind to wander to wherever it needs to be to make that smile sincere.

I have a lot of stress in my life now. I’m terribly under employed, I’m losing my housing, and I’m lonely. Those reading the post before this one, you know the irony of this site’s success is bothering me in this context as well. But it is in this sort of crucible of stress that the right ‘aha’ will present itself, and here it is.

So I will be present to now, because it is always now and never any other time. And I will be happy now, because no reason not to be is real. And I will be happy the way I know to be happy – my sarcasm, my irony. Because  sarcasm and irony are the things that bring sincerity to my grin.

And hey, if that particular grin may look I’m up to something – consider for a moment how much fun it is to be up to something and just how sincere that grin must be!

This does dovetail with health and romance too. The simple act of not allowing what your body is keep you from allowing yourself to be happy can manifest those people that know your body is hot right now.

Will a body become healthier if the person inside it simply decides to like themselves a bit more? The power of placebo suggests it is at least a good possibility objectively, and subjectively I’m inclined to think so.

And in the domain of sex, nothing is hotter than confident indifference – can a projection of simple happiness can simulate both? I certainly was suckered into a crush on such a happy person.

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