taking stock

In the month of may, this site set a new record for most visits, most pages read, most bandwidth used – well over 16,000 unique IP addresses visited KitschChaos.com last month. That not people, that’s16k unique modems, many of which in this age of wifi are shared by many people.

And almost every month this year has broken a record set by the previous month. Truly a testament to the power of sincere writing, less than 2% of these visits are coming from google or any search engine – it’s all keying in the url directly or by bookmark or email link – or folks are visiting by means of links on other websites.

I know all this because my server keeps statistics (better than google, which can only record users that allow javascript to collect cookies).

So it’s a kind of success. My initial reason to create this website: fill a vacuum – there’s no or damned little information on applying magic to business. And my secondary reasons are to evangelize Chaos magic, and to maintain my learning about e-commerce. And in securing ‘unlimited’ hard drive space and bandwidth from my hosting company – I really wanted this site to become as successful as possible – just to test that promise.

And all those goals, they have been achieved. I now know more about e-commerce than most courses I could buy can teach me and I’ve shared it all as I’ve learned it. I’ve introduced Chaos magic to a lot of people, and created a resource for those who want to learn more. And as of last month this site’s readers consumed more bandwidth than my other hosts would allow without charging me a lot more money.

I did it. I’ve accomplished every goal I had for this website when i created it. And the site now, it’s like a drug. What can I do to attract even more people, make it more popular. And this site may be on the brink of being discovered internationally – google has achieved destruction of language barrier – anyone can appreciate my site now, it seems. This growth is sexy, and eve if the typical comments I get are banal – the numbers are awfully flattering.

But is this what I want? What do I authentically want?

So I need to take stock and decide what I want, and pursue that. And what I want is to make money online, I want a great boyfriend, I want great friends I can collaborate with – on comics, on stunts, on movies, on projects. My life has never been as much fun as when I was in middle school creating comics or plotting the takeover of the world with friends. I may be 44, but I want that kind of fun again. That’s what I most authentically want.

Being the webmaster of this site, perhaps manifesting a cult of personality? It is flattering, and I am learning i need to own that I write at least as well as I draw -if not better – my drawing never attracted the kind of attentions my writing on this site has. But this is not what I want, I want to do stuff with friends, fun, crazy stuff.

And I don’t have such friends. So I think my next project will be to create such friends.

As for this website, since it is everything I meant for it to be when I created it – I now will manifest a new intent. This site will make me money!

And no, this site is not making me money. It is a spectacular failure when it comes to money. Of all the thousands of visitors, I don’t believe even one has clicked a google ad or text ad. Not one has volunteered even a dollar donation to thank me for the content they tell me helped them so much.

And I do understand. I fundamentally believe information should be free. And much of the information on this site is salable information, others get paid because they make you buy this information. That’s one reason this site is popular. It’s also a reason no one buys.

But understand something. NOW this site exists for the purpose of making me an online income. And at risk is all the information you find so valuable, because I know it is valuable – and i can password protect this entire blog and ask you to pay for access.

That doesn’t have to happen. You can use the pay pal button on the right and make a small donation.  What are you buying with that? You’re buying the opportunity to keep this online resource available for free. Because it is not free. I have to pay for hosting and I have to support myself. Without me there is no Kitschchaos.com. Unless I can pay to re-register the domain, pay for more years of hosting – this site will cease to exist.

And, you see. I don’t need this site anymore. You do. I proved everything I needed to prove. This give away good information for free model, it doesn’t make sense if I decide the point of this site is to make money.

But understand that if every visitor donated a single penny – this site would cover my rent, almost anywhere I wanted to live. And that would be enough to fundamentally alter my lifestyle substantially. Now, not everyone will donate a penny – but if you donate a dollar, your donation covers a hundred other users.

And if you can’t donate a dollar, that lets me know how important this site is to you.

Because there’s ithacailluminati.com – and if I’m going to follow through with that project, it’s going to consume a lot of my time. Because it’s all me – I have no team. I’m writing and drawing the comic, I’m interviewing people, I’m writing all the articles – I will not have time to maintain KitschChaos.com, not without a reason to. IthacaIlluminati – it’s going to ultimately market my web design  business, that is from the ground up designed to be a money maker. Kitschchaos.com was not designed from the ground up to be a money maker. That’s why I cannot maintain KtischChaos the same as I have been.

Powerful e-commerce coaching is to focus all your resources on that which will make you money. So it’s up to YOU. If you the reader really want this site to be a free resource and remain as such, if you want me to keep writing good content – reward me in a way that is real, in a way that can help me pay rent.

Because if you don’t support this website of your free will – I’ll find a way to monetize this site. The result I’m looking for now is rent, and I will do whatever it takes. What you want or think doesn’t pay my rent. This is simple.  I’ve established value, now I will have compensation.

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