Masculinity and the Gay Chaos Magician.

Growing up gay for me. I wasn’t really a butch boy, I was always an art kid, a smart ass, but not really feminine.

I was drawn to Barbie dolls, not because I wanted to dress them or anything – because my action figures had explicit bolts in their movable limbs, and Barbie has a fake skin so the bolts are not visible. I wasn’t allowed to play with them much, I likely would have taken a knife to that fake skin, looking for the bolts. But I generally was jealous that my action figures didn’t merit the same attention to detail.

I did play with the EZ bake oven more than my female cousin a year older than me. I lived with that cousin when raised by my maternal grandmother from age 4 to 6 or 7 – I liked to make stuff – usually gross, like sugared breakfast cereals and egg – cooked by light-bulb.

I didn’t do sports, I really wanted to – but because I was so small and young looking I wasn’t selected for sports teams and I never developed sport skill sets. I took to skateboarding, later I found some aptitude at gymnastics.

It was around age 11 I figured out what ‘Faggot’ MEANT, and that I was a faggot. I came the realize the intense feelings I would have for some of my friends, were actually the same stuff my friends were feeling for girls.

And it was at this time I intentionally became self aware that I wasn’t perfectly masculine, and began trying to be more masculine and I developed a great fear of rejection should anyone ‘find out’. I did have a feminine flair for fashion a little , and I squashed that – but for the most part it was anxiety over a femininity that was subtle if it existed at all.

I made it through my teen years by playing at being asexual, which people in high school did ask me about, but were heterosexist enough to never imagine I am gay.

It took me till I was 23 to come out. And I did, and to my family first. I’ll not go into detail. But it was a huge deal, I was prepared to be rejected by everyone and that didn’t happen. The believing everyone in your life will reject you – that’s a common subjective reality for the closeted gay person and is WHY it’s a big deal, any gay person coming out.

After I came out, I realized I no longer needed to try to be more masculine than I am. And this introduced a rather deep question: AM i masculine?

Because I was severely conditioned by the stereotype that gay = effeminate, and I believed if I am gay I MUST be effeminate and the only reason I’m NOT effeminate is because I tried so hard NOT to be for the years I was closeted.

And this belief in a true self that isn’t the ego I’d developed already, put me in a year long existential crisis, an intense thing with weird mental effects. I lost the ability to read for a week or so – not because I forgot anything – but because I became keenly aware of the arbitrariness of letter shapes and the sounds words are meant to elicit. Like how if you repeat a word over and over and over it loses all meaning – but that process becoming instantaneous and for EVERY WORD, Every letter….

I resolved the conundrum and ended the crisis, not with the truth, but with an answer that was ‘true enough’: I do not exist at all – everything I am is made up.

And this has profoundly shaped my thinking and my life – it prepared me for the writing of DT Suzuki about Zen Buddhism, and Robert Anton Wilson’s ‘reality tunnels’, it made chaos magic’s emphasis on belief as a tool, simple and easy to grasp. It allowed me be the person I want to be, that as long as who I am is self actualized – knowing that I have a say in WHAT I actualize. Granted, my ideas of what ‘cool’ is are no less socially conditioned, but I’ve made them mine and I own them and indeed, I am them.

Small business, brick and mortar, marketing on the cheap.

Okay, if you have little money, and your business is OFFLINE. How can you market that business if you have little to no money?

Okay, first, your LOGO.

Because this is a chaos magic applies to marketing site – the logo is where your magic is at.

Understand, a logo is a magic sigil. Just like a magic sigil begins with a statement of intent, you need to create a statement that capture what your business is about, and your intention. Think about your ‘unique sales position’, USP, the thing you can offer with your business that distinguishes your business, that no one else can offer. Your business statement should contain your ‘unique sales position’.

Some examples: you mow lawns, a USP might be “We compost lawn clippings” or “we fertilize mowed lawns”. The thing about your business that makes you better. And maybe you need to think to over to create something.

Once you have your USP, you are ready to write your business statement. And once you have your business statement – THEN create your logo. And it is important that you, the business owner, dictate this logo, make it yours, make it an expression of that business statement.

It is good to give an artist some business to make your logo look its best, but make life easy for the designer and tell him everything.

And here’s a secret of logo design, the difference between a good logo and a bad logo is if you use it EVERYWHERE, or you do not. An ‘ugly’ logo is as good as a ‘pretty one’ as long as you use it all the time such that it BECOMES the name of your business.

Make no mistake, this is sigil magic. You do this right, anytime someone absent mindedly gazes upon your logo – they empower a magic spell that helps your business statement become more true than it already was. Notice of BIG companies, they often spend millions on advertising that may ONLY feature their logo. It’s money well spent.

A logo should be black and white, so it can be make into a rubber stamp, and be printed cheaply in one color. The digital format should be VECTOR ideally.


Who is buying what you are offering? This is important to understand, and as an inquiry to maintain. DO think about when you were in the market for the service or good you are offering, how did you find a business? how did you distinguish a good offer from a bad one? Write down your impressions of who you expect to be paying you.

And as you do business, you may be surprised who you do business with – update your understanding of who your customers are as you learn more about them.


Use your logo EVERYWHERE. It’s your magic spell, and you need to create the association of that logo with your business. And you do that by using it everywhere.

Marketing is simply getting the message of the service or good you have to offer in front of the people that will give you money for it.

Inexpensively you can:

1. Print posters with tear off tabs with your logo address or phone number. Post theses on bulletin boards where your market is likely to see them. Such boards are in libraries, laundromats, some restaurants and cafes..etc.

2. Use Google ‘my business’ services, they are free. and having your business on Google maps, a page with information about it on Google plus and more. It will put your local business ONLINE, where people that use the web to find a business will find YOU.

3. Use Craigslist, it’s also free, you can post images and it’s targeted to your town!

4. Do you sell to businesses? Collect the contact information, telephone numbers of the businesses that are local to you. CALL THEM! Make it a game, give yourself 5 points for every call, 10 points if you reach a ‘decision maker’. Try to get 50 points every day! At least until you run out of businesses.

5. Anyone you DO BUSINESS WITH, get their email and mailing address. You can give them a form asking them to tell you what they think of your services that requests their contact information. A few times a year, send your customers discount coupons, and MORE THAN ONE – so they can share them with their friends! also the occasional friendly ‘happy holidays’ is always appreciated – and is another opportunity to share your LOGO!

6. If you have SOME money to spend, Google advertising and Facebook advertising are inexpensive and VERY WELL TARGETED.

7. Use divination, like I Ching or tarot, they will break your mind out of its rut and maybe help you see what you otherwise cannot see because you are too close.

8. Do GOOD for your community, sponsor a soup kitchen, volunteer as the face of your company sporting that LOGO – it will give you good karma for your business – it MIGHT get your logo featured in a local newspaper!

How to do REAL magic, like fire from fingertips!

A spell to shoot fire from your fingertips:

You will need these ceremonial tools: 1 can of Lysol aerosol disinfect, a match.
invoke the forces of FIRE
Press the Lysol button to release the aerosol, light  the aerosol with a match.
You now are shooting fire from your hand!

A spell to be invisible to security cameras:

You will need these ceremonial tools: 1 can aerosol spray paint, opaque
Invoke the forces of TRANSPARENCY
spray the recording lens of the security camera
you are now invisible to the security camera!

Now I know this may seem either funny, or a let down. But it’s not. This is how its done.

Understand that Stage magic and Mystical magic were not always distinct, in antiquity they were ONE. So the romantic ideas of the powers of a magician, turning staffs into snakes or what have you – magicians in antiquity DID do all of that! But it wasn’t that they had a mojo that doesn’t exist today. It was that they were doing stage magic. To build belief, because belief is key if you want to manipulate coincidence and produce results!

Of course if you’re doing stage magic and telling people it is real, it opens up a world of negative exploitative possibilities. And it is to combat that, that a strict distinction between ‘stage magic’ and ‘occult magic’ became manifest.

It’s important to think of magic like a hack, or a cheat, in your game of life. It doesn’t change the rules, it just give you a psychological edge and maybe a helpful coincidence. if you want to produce a light, a flash light works well. If you want to shoot a ‘magic missile’, maybe you want to get your hands on a gun.

Whatever you do, don’t do your spell and do nothing else and expect anything to happen. If you do nothing else, the message you send to yourself is “I don’t really want/need this”, and even that duality of desire is enough to sabotage your magic and make it inert. Do the magic, and then do the thing you would have done anyway. And find yourself doing it BRILLIANTLY!

Apologies, and the idea of True Self

Photo on 6-21-15 at 10.10 PMYour Author, Michael Robin Cooke

I’ve not posted any new content to this site in a long while.

I told myself it’s so I can work on my comics and on my new website, so i can work on a book on ‘reality hacking’, so I can redo this website so maybe facebook will let me post to it (it thinks this blog is toxic because once this site and blog was hacked – and it took a while to restore everything).

I’ve not gotten any of that done, but I have made some meager progress on the comic.

My magic has mostly been targeting my capacity to make more money, and the part time job I have has been giving me a raise, and full time hours almost all spring and hasn’t stopped yet. So that’s a success.

I’ve taken on helping a young gay black man in Africa. It’s not been easy, but the opportunity to leverage my modest income to make a big difference in the life of someone else appeals to my selfish selflessness.

Seems a key to making more money is taking on more responsibility. Is an important lesson there. Power and responsibility are the same after all.

But I still don’t have the wacom cintque I wanted. I do have a new Ipad air, won it at a raffle at work, and magic was involved, and a lot of hours which I wanted and needed. I may get health insurance this autumn as a function of working so many hours. So magic is in place to keep the hours available.

The new idea of reality hacking, and yeah, I feel I should get the book started at least. It’s presenting life as a game, and ‘magic’ as a cheat. I have my one sentence explanation of magic: Because Placebo, it’s NOT just for medicine anymore!

The presentation of life as a game allows for the explanation of an idea from Buddhism and Thelema that can be hard to understand, to be expressed very clearly: Life is a game, You are the player, your Ego is the character, you pick the game – play well!

The idea that ‘you are the player, and your ego is the character’ is the tough idea to digest. Because commonly we imagine we ARE the character. I am the child the was abused, that was bullied, that went to an elite science/math public high school… who is this ‘other’ self that isn’t the product of those experiences?

A clue lay in meditation, where in attempting to control your thoughts – you find yourself observing thought itself. The ego, your identity with your life history, cannot observe thought, it IS thoughts. The self that is observing yourself thinking – THAT’S the player!

In the  language of Thelema, that’s your ‘TRUE SELF’. In Buddhism it may be, “your Buddha nature”.

But if you’ve played a role playing game, the idea that you are the player and the ego is your character, that’s simple to comprehend.

It’s a distinction I can leverage for a magical paradigm. Because if you are NOT your ego, you can as a player do some work to improve the character you play. You can take on challenges as if they were a game, and try again when you fail, because that’s how every game is played. And it puts an empowering spin on invocation – you ARE altering the character you play!

That’s all for now. I promise to update more frequently.

Magic For Skeptics

James Randi is a skeptic

Magic? There’s no such thing as magic!

And if we’re talking skeptics, they put thinker in think tanks, where do they put skeptics?


And if I told a skeptic that I cast a spell and it WORKED! That skeptic might tell me it was a coincidence!

So let’s start with coincidence! Because you’re right, magic success always is also coincidence! But what distinguishes a coincidence from a not coincidence? You do, your awareness of the context allows for a coincidence to be recognized.

We imagine coincidence is rare, because our awareness of coincidence is spotty. But simply try bibliomancy, ask a question and expect a relevant answer, by closing your eyes and placing your finger in the book on a random page at  random spot on the page. This is classically done with Bibles, but really any book might do. The paragraph will be eerie how it relates to your question, if you suspended disbelief and simply pretended the book would answer you!

But let me explain simply what magic is, in the very least: a means to leverage placebo effect and psychological priming to realizing your goal, any goal.

And this is NOT supernatural! Magic could be supernatural, certainly entertaining the idea is conducive to both placebo and psychological priming.

And is placebo real? I don’t care if you’re a skeptic, you should accept the reality of placebo in medicine – the power of telling someone you are giving them powerful medicine when really you administer a sugar pill. It’s the test every patent medicine must pass to become a patent medicine: outperforming a placebo.

And it’s not easy, Placebo treats disease and even saves lives. Homeopathy has no scientific basis, it’s effectiveness may be solely limited to that of placebo.

So, just imagine, what would be possible if you could apply that placebo power in any domain you need it?

And psychological priming is simple – planting an expectation of a result into a person’s mind. How is this useful? Easy, if you are anticipating a result – you will be more alert to opportunities and more pro-active following through on that opportunity. Psychological priming can give you the confidence that makes the difference between success and failure.

But instead of speaking of Placebo and Psychological Priming – let me speak again of.. MAGIC!

Because Magic is HOW you leverage placebo and psychological priming to work for you in any way you see fit. Be it sigils, sympathetic magic, candle burning, prayer, ancestor worship, offerings to God(s) ..etc. Magic works! And Magic is AT LEAST Placebo and psychological priming.

Now if you want to have success with magic, remember you need to know what you want, you need to believe (or suspend disbelief) and you need to get your ego out of the way (such gnosis is possible by means of absent mindedness, belief engendered awe in the magical ceremony, absorption in a game, it can be a side effect of exhaustion or meditation and is explicit in sexual orgasm.

And the question is not, is magic real? The question now is this: if you are not using magic, why not? Don’t you want to be successful?

The power of visualization and Dr. Strange




It’s powerful, visualization is fucking powerful. It’s been demonstrated that athletes get the same benefit from visualizing exercise as they get from actually exercising.

And that ‘reverse vampire / flaming faggot’ technique, aside from the sigil and the egrigore – it’s all about the visualization – cosmic power concentrating through a lens to set an inner aura aflame with cosmic fire that empowers the magician and everyone in the presence of the magician. And It really did seem that I was ‘hot’ when I tried the technique, to the extent of feeling as if I did not get wet in a light rain because my warmth dispersed the wet.

Visualization is the stuff of sympathetic magic: imagining the experience before you have the experience. So let’s take the most famous of sympathetic magics, the ‘voodoo doll’, where you take a doll, attach a personal concern / psychic link of your target (a drop of blood, a strand of hair, a piece of fingernail, a photo) – and visualize the doll is that person as you have your way with it for good or ill.

As a cartoonist my powers of visualization may be immense. I figured out that if you could fly, big problems would be having trouble breathing at high altitudes – as well as the cold, and that at lower altitudes you get a face full of dead insects if you fly at any fast speed – by visualizing myself doing the flying.

Which brings me to Dr. Strange, this comic book magical superhero. He, like most ‘magical’ superheroes, says spooky words, does some off hand gestures – and produces SPECIAL EFFECTS!

So no, occult techniques don’t produce special effects reliably. But who says anyone but Dr. Strange can see anything?
And, if Dr. Strange is visualizing awesome special effects only he can ‘see’…. And if I were to write a Dr. Strange comic it would be a gag that lots of people can’t see anything when Dr. Strange is doing awesome magics.

See, I think it’ll be MORE POWERFUL! To give yourself license to VISUALIZE awesome special effects for all your magic! Why? Because it’s FUN. And because it’s fun, it enrolls more of you. Because just as I found validation for my visualization of a hot cosmic aura – I think you’ll find validation for spells with vivid visualizations more often than not!


KitschChaos Reality Hacking

I’m working on a new big project, which I’ll call ‘Reality Hacking’, which will be a cartoon introduction to magic, and specifically what I consider a better paradigm.

The ‘Horace and the Holy Ghost’ comic I was expanding with a cartoon tutorial in magic. No Longer, the cartoon tutorial will be presented in this Reality hacking Project.

So the overall paradigm that distinguishes ‘Reality Hacking’, is that life is a game, you are the player, your ego is the character, and the objects of the game are yours to chose or invent. Magic in this paradigm constitutes a ‘cheat’.

I consider this a winning story for living life optimized to setting and meeting goals, for having reality conform with your will. The idea of who you are being separate from the identity you enjoy from having lived in the world as yourself will not seem obvious to everyone and that’s fine, but it’s an idea with deep tendrils in the global collective unconscious. It’s an idea that may seem more plausible in meditation, where you discover seeing your thought as an observer – which falsifies ‘being’ thought….

Magic as a cheat in the game you make of life, that’s the correct context to understand magic. With the game model it’s really clear – the cheat lets you get what you want out of playing, easier. And that’s how you do successful magic – you are active doing what you can do to have what you want – and magic, like a cheat, may make it easier for you when you do it!

So if you sulk in your room waiting for your love spell to make the person you want, come to you…. You are no Reality Hacker! The Reality Hacker goes out to meet people after casting such a spell!

The other big part of my Reality Hacking package will be a list of hand gestures with simple meanings and when combined with ‘spooky words’ –  a spell is cast! This is how EVERY magician in a comicbook has ever done it! I’ll use the idea of the ‘Alphabet of Desire’ – but make it much simpler and focus on common Hoodoo themes rather than metaphysical abstractions. Love, sex, dominate, luck, blessing, reverse bad luck, win court case, get wisdom – stuff like that.

I’ll share the process of how I create the word and image (to be traced by hand gestures) for each desire. So users can expand their dictionary with spells they create! It’s useful for people to reinforce the power of a sigil and word by using the same one for the same purpose – So I’ll do my best!

This may also be the first project I try to monetize. I haven’t given up on marketing or making money online. I just know I need something I can believe in to sell. So I’m making sure this project will be AWESOME!

Invoking Solomon

Judgement of SolomonInvoking Solomon

I was writing earlier in a facebook group about the prospect of invoking Solomon so I could write my own Solomonic grimoire; as I proscribe in my Christian Magic article.

It seems that – I may have invoked Solomon by simply writing about the prospect of invoking Solomon.

What this means is that I might be talking to myself, or an external entity – there is no way of knowing which it is, or maybe both.

Solomon was not what I expected, he reminds me of George Bernard Shaw – with an easy good natured sarcasm. Seems he really wanted to talk to me.

So understand this is like a telepathic conversation I’m having with an imagined other, albeit with an alarmingly explicit personality. So what follows may be the product of an unusual creative process or  a collaboration with an awesome spirit that may or may not be my creation.

Solomon is a monotheist, accuses me of being one too. Refused to tell me if he is a thought form, imagination or an actual entity on the grounds anything he told me I’d not trust to be the truth.

Some highlights, and this was as my mind wandered and would think of something to ask Solomon as I was doing something else throughout the day.

His superior magic vs. the Egyptians: this was a contest of stage magic.

The ugliness of the Old testament: know Rick Santorum? People like him wrote much of the Bible. It’s that too much time passed we image those assholes were inspired by more than their base desires and biases.

The wisdom of Soloman book was meant only for tribal Jews, not the entire fucking world.

Some critiques of ceremonial magic:

Yes, a circle of protection. No, don’t use words or languages you do not understand, if you speak English, use English. If the god head is ‘Father, Son and Holy’ ghost to YOU – write THAT in your circle!

Solomon suggests you decide on what you need from an entity, make a request for the name and sigil to God, Cosmic Powers or whatever you care to label a higher power – and you’ll get an entity that is right for YOU.

Don’t use other people’s grimoires – the demons listed are those that belong to its author.

Solomon seems to back Crowley’s assertion that demons, angels perhaps, are wild parts of our psyche – that we need to find OUR entities.

Solomon suggests I write as his ‘grimoire’ a comic featuring he and I having a conversation. It probably would kind of cool.

Postmatic plug in

There’s a new ‘subscribe’ button to the right, and I know I have over 4k subscribers that get regular emails detailing the latest blog posts. You need not re-register, but if you would like the opportunity to reply to a blog post by email – please DO re-register or register for the first time.

I think the new plug in, which allows people to reply to blog posts by EMAIL is a tremendous benefit to users of this site, and especially to me, the webmaster and author, I had to delete every reply ever made to my site because over 95% of the replies to my site were spam and It was just too much work to fish for the legit replies.

I now have a very good spam filter, and as a consequence, no replies to posts I didn’t author. But this plug in makes it really simple for users of this site to reply to my posts. And I promise you I appreciate the feedback!

Michael Robin Cooke

your host.

Reverse Vampire – Flaming Faggot : in action

The Chaos magic technique I described in the post preceding this one, that I called ‘Reverse Vampire/ Flaming Faggot’ – is about visualizing an overpowered aura that sends empowerment to yourself and everyone around you, and nailing it down with a sigil incorporating the “ellis sigil’ and using the ‘Cosmic Forces’ egrigore to empower it.

I should have used the technique before sharing it, but I was inventing the technique and did that in writing the blog. So it didn’t quite exist before I wrote the blog post.

Now I did the magic, the visualization, the wanking to the sigil – even wrote the sigil in dragon’s blood ink – and folded it up and placed it in the leather bag holding my mojo hand and a set of runes.

My job is the most ethical of an unethical business paradigm – I call strangers and ask them to participate in telephone surveys, often concerning businesses they have or once had dealings with. With my flaming astral aura I was hoping that it would look like me getting many finished surveys and it not helping me competitively with the other interviewers because those closest to me would have comparable success.

Quite the opposite happened, I got not one complete and others reported a harder than average day dialing for surveys. The shift was almost over, and then it hit me. The night WAS exceptional, because the people I was talking to – they were unusually EMPOWERED, they said ‘no!’ and asked to be taken off the list. As an interviewer we kind of wish more people would do that, because instead they tend to apologize and promise maybe ‘another day’ without meaning it. And we call them again, and again, and again – we’re a phone bank.

But it’s also true that may of the finished surveys we  DO get – are ALSO a function of weakness – doing the survey because they are afraid it might bias the business its for against them, or afraid even of upsetting me because I asked them so nicely.

My favorite surveys are when the respondent WANTS to do the survey because they have real world problems that are the fault of the business I’m doing the survey for, but I didn’t get any of those tonight.

So the spell – a side effect might be an increase in body temperature, i ‘felt’ the warmness of the astral energy – and I walked to work in a light rain with a broken umbrella and my clothes didn’t get very wet – almost as if the warmth of my body dried the clothes at the same time they got wet. This of course might be because I used the language ‘fire’ in describing the energy field. The empowering aspect of the field is very ‘down low’, it may not be evident at all or only in retrospect – but I assert it’s influence is all too real and empowering

And even though the spell was counterproductive at my job, I would suggest it may have been responsible for the unlikely wave of respondents empowered to say ‘hell no!’ when asked to participate in a survey they don’t want to. And so that’s a win for the spell. And no, I’m removing the sigil from my mojo bag immediately!

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